Brutally honest: a peep into the first week of college

Hey peeps!

((Before anything, I'd just want to say happy weekend! Honestly glad it is the weekend already because to say that the past few days were hectic would have been an understatement. I am definitely tired, but happy, though. All's good with me and I hope it's the case with you too :>))

Just saying, I am scraping off the first paragraph written completely because who am I kidding? I wrote those like 2 days after the start of Orientation and felt that it was just as superficial as it sounded to you. The reason as to why I haven't been updating my blog for more than a week now is definitely not because of the late-night talks that my suitemates and I sometimes have, but because I was just in a murkier state of mind regarding this whole getting-to-know people and going through Orientation 'correctly'.

To be brutally honest, my first 2 days were great (if any of my suitemates are reading this, you guys rock!<3) cause we had been having many talks in the room and it was just a really exciting time of bonding again. It is as if I am living in a boarding school all over again, but without curfews. and without any silly drinking rules. AND without any of those really annoying Discipline Masters. Imagine that. How bomb is that? Yeah, I know right.

But as per your cliché story of people feeling socially exhausted when meeting many new people, it inevitably hits me that I may not essentially enjoy this whole new environment as much/as little as I wanted it to be. In its core, it was just the reality that did not match my expectation or the lack thereof. I guess it is human nature to want to be surprised by the new environment I was put in; but it is also human nature to still secretly only wished for the good surprises instead of truly embracing the possibilities of them all. And this was what I was guilty of.

It was not even that I was put in a difficult situation in which my wellbeing was at risk, but still, I felt lonely and emptier than ever during some of the supposed 'vulnerable sharings'. To assess it objectively will be a sin to my sentiments, so let me be biased for a second. Whenever someone uses the word vulnerable, I guess there is always a tug of wariness in people's hearts—we generally like feeling in control, but never excessively—and it is hard to let go of that wariness. Worse still, if put in social situations that promote openness, it is even more mandatory almost to actually put yourself out there and be vulnerable. At least that was what I assessed of the situation and of my unanticipated sadness during some of the activities in the whole duration. 

But then again, who am I to practically rule on others that they are supposed to feel/agree to the same way I am feeling, and thus manifest them in the same way that I was affected by them just so as to relate better with my feelings? This realization upon introspection that truly, in the essence of one's feelings at that fleeting moment of near vulnerability and the judgment to step away from it should be respected is paramount. And that was where I fell short. Always knowing myself as an extrovert, I thought it was just a natural process of discomfort and then relief whenever I put myself in a situation where I expected myself to be vulnerable. But as I grow older, I guess I forgot to check-in with how I am doing/feeling. As obvious as it is, it was more of me neglecting what I should have been doing—taking time to adjust to the 'new' me coming into a 'new' environment, and be okay and get used to it—and trying to put the blame on circumstances that I regretted thinking about. But yeah, this mind runs wild and sometimes a miss in thought is still a miss worthy of acknowledgment. 

So yes, to be brutally honest, I think I overdid what I thought I could emotionally handle during the first week of school. If I take longer to warm up and be open in a way that allows depth of feelings to people, then so be it. I hope everyone is pushing their boundaries in respectable manners as well as constantly checking in with themselves both physically and emotionally. Because that is the best that we can do, and the acknowledgment of that is equally important as taking that 20 minutes off your work/bedtime ritual time off.  I hope things are more challenging than this first week though. I cannot wait to smash some buttons on Felicia (yes I named my mac Felicia cause she is such a Felicia d u h) while rushing some assignments! (and of course, I'm looking forward to meet awesome, new and old friends for coffee in between.) *wink ;;)

Also here are some photos during the First Year Assembly! Big thank you to my friend for helping me photograph those moments in the sweltering heat..... I was truly drenched in sweat xd 

Totally did not expect to go full-on with my reflection on how this week has been, but oh wells not only do I like to talk to others but I also enjoy writing my thoughts down... I hope you find this helpful/empowering/relatable in any way if you are going through the same things! Being a freshman seems pretty cool for now, I guess :> Take care peeps and don't forget to have fun in whatever you are doing x

Virtual hugs, 

(because I prolly can't stand a real one)

Maretta Simon

One Last Summer Escapade—Bintan

Hello Yalls!

I know I probably already said this but, I c a n n o t believe it that this summer is flying by! With college move-ins and new adventures happening in less than a week, I am of course terrified  so excited! In case you didn't know, I graduated from high school (and copped that IB Diploma bread) in January this year. So the feels of a loooooong holiday ending is pretty surreal. 

A few weeks back, my boarding school friends and I went on our one last summer escapade to Bintan! Honestly, we just wanted to chill in each other's company and get that last bit of sunshine together as a group of friends. We did not do much: lazing by the pool, swimming till the sun sets above our heads and our bodies begging us to leave the pool as the water started to go cold. It was a few nights of deep reconnecting, but truly, it was our sensibilities towards each other that craved for more than just a meet-up. We knew it had to be a few nights of talks and movies. And I am so grwteful we had the opportunity to do just that.

To give you some contexts, these few people are those who literally stood (and slept) by me throughout the arduous late-nights we pulled to submit our IAs, the emotional break downs when things were not okay, and of course throughout our illegal cooking/hotpot adventures in our boarding school. So yes, they hold a really special place in my heart. This is especially so as two of them are leaving for the States while the other 2 are going to be in Singapore but going to different colleges. As sappy as it sounds, I will definitely miss our heart-to-heart talks. Oh so much. So if you are also feeling those leaving-for-college blues, hurry and grab your loved ones, hug them tight, and tell them how much you are going to miss them. I know not everyone has the luxury of money and time to go on a getaway with the people they are going to miss, so a simple heartfelt letter will do. Remember peeps, it is the heart that yearns for love and care, so listen to it. 

Enough with all the romantic descriptions of blues and fear, because boi I really need to go and pack my luggage(s). I am about halfway done....o LOL I wish. My room is in an absolute mess but my heart and mind were not ready to pack... at least until now that I have acknowledged my blues and have written it out here. After this I am going to plug in my pods, blast some good ol Vampire Weekend (check them out I am jamming to them so much right now it is an addiction), and start packing. Recently I have also been binging on "How to edit your videos" on youtube so I may put together a vlog style 'what to bring to college' or 'finally packing' or something of that sort if I can produce a good enough video to publish.  

Until then, see you soon folks! Enjoy this beautiful sky in Bintan 

and have a restorative weekend reconnecting with people who are dear to your heart, alrighty! x

Love always,

Maretta Simon

10 reasons why you should visit Nepal

A country full of stark juxtapositions... embodied by both the people and the silent survivors of the deadly 2015 earthquake. That is probably the best way to describe how Nepal is as a country as of now, as seen through my lens in my one-week-trip to Nepal.

 a random villager's house at Pokhara

sunrise slowly creeping out from a seemingly nearby mountain from the Australian Base Camp

another beautiful moment before the sun rises!

As many of you know, it is a country still rebuilding and recovering from the disastrous earthquake in 2015, yet there are so much more than mere shambles and messy infrastructure of Kathmandu that I saw and lived. I was initially shook by the state of disorderliness Kathmandu was in when I first step foot on the crowded pavements and unregulated traffic on the streets, but as I leave Nepal, I could not cease to smile at the beautiful bright skies, the warmth of the locals and the hopeful eyes of the little children I talked to during the school visits. To give you a context of what I did*, my schoolmates and I basically helped build a wall for a local government school pretty high up in the mountains, discuss current issues and talk about comparisons of culture mainly between Singapore and Nepal to students younger than or of the same age as us, as well as trek one of the mountains to the Australian Base Camp (I guess it was called the Annapurna mountain range?). 

It was a fulfilling trip as never have I ever see myself to be so deeply impacted by the small things a short trip can give me, given my skeptical nature on short-lived projects where my commitment is not a priority. This trip has allowed me to truly see the qualities of oneself from within, as there was imminent language barrier with some of the students, yet their sincerity and eagerness to learn about my culture and promote their beloved Nepali culture was invigorating, to say the very least. Yes, I only spent a day with the students, but that experience left so many unanswered questions in my head: when was the last time I actually feel that eager to learn about something I can search on the internet? Have I forgotten the joy of truly disconnecting from distractions and just focus on building relationships with new people? Have I lost touch of the extent subtleties of unexpected poignant moments can impact my perspective because I have been too comfortable in what I have been doing this whole year?

It was a mass of contradictions--my mind was puzzled after the overwhelmingly positive outcome of that short visit. I felt so liberated just talking to new people there. It was a humbling experience to realise how little I know of this world and how small my empirical reality of my own bubble actually is. Thus, I learned to learn, all over again. I came with the mindset of sharing experiences and exposing the Nepali students to international cultures by befriending them as they may not have appropriate platforms where they can have international friends, but in the end I felt that it was more educational for me instead of for them. If I have to choose one word to describe the whole experience, it has to be Introspection.

Introspection is something I lack doing, as the surprising experiences should not strike me as hard, especially since I used to live in a developing country with similar circumstances and beautiful sceneries. Therefore, I am thankful to have the chance to visit Nepal, where I can relive those memories of childhood and reconnect with long-lost friends I never get to befriend across the globe away as our differences in backgrounds really did not matter. I was quick to complain about things I have, quick to judge my own abilities, and even quick to analyse social situations, yet I 'forgot' that I am fundamentally flawed in connecting with my own self for the very assumptions that I have grown and moved forward from my past self. I guess that is because I focus too much on self-improvement that I do not see the bigger, more important picture of coming to terms with my past and piecing the mosaics of my past experiences first in order to build an improved front. Hence, by introspecting on my recent visit, it helped me sieve through the social problems underlying the society back at home, retrieving those desires to do something bigger in order to also impact others just like how the Nepali students impacted me. Thus after reflecting on this wonderful journey, the real question: what can you do to alleviate their slow growth and or impact their lives as much as they have impacted mine still remain. But this trip has certainly reconnected me to my “supposedly” humbler side who still look at the world as how it really is, instead of through a rose-tinted screen where i take things at face value while making excuses such as “yeah ill think of what happened today when i am less busy”.

As you can tell, i have drifted quite a lot from my intended title, but Nepal truly is a country you guys should include to your bucket list simply for the indescribable experience you will get, especially if you are not used to the landscape of a developing nation. It should not be “10 reasons why you should visit Nepal”, but “the reason why you should visit Nepal: people, scenic landscapes, ah just because Nepal.”

*I also did other stuff but probs I'll share with you some other time in a different post or... I may just keep it to myself

ps there are more pics of my friends and I on my Instagram if you want to check them out! Also I do not have any pictures with the children because their child protection policies are pretty strict in Nepal for fears of human trafficking.  :)

i am alive

HELLO FRIENDSSSSSSSS

Happy belated new years :)

Tbh i have been procrastinating throughout my entire holidays therefore I did not even post anything on this blog HAHAHAHA (ok then again who cares so yeah wtv man)

Anyways, I have been very blessed to graduate from sc on a high note, and I am now continuing my academic endeavours in a tremendously supportive, warm and family-oriented sji. I have never looked at myself wearing that green-and-white uniform but hey, I cannot be anymore grateful than that, honestly.

As much as nervousness hits me almost every single time when I reach school, I truly am excited for the start of my academic year this coming monday. It will be filled with new faces, yet i have faith that it will be a fruitful experience. tbh i sound like i am promoting sji but truthfully sji has left such a good impression on me that i totally do not mind sounding like an ambassador of the school HAHAHA

Oh and here is a tutor group photo because Prometheus is just the best best best i love yalll you guys made me look forward to coming for orientation camp everyday even when I was aching all over. shoutout to TG106 <3

(the quality is crappy but the people are definitely not ehehehe

Moreover, in case you guys are curious about genee 2k16, the only word I that is up to par to the experience is: mindblowing. If only I were younger, I would have migrated to sydney to pursue dance at a profession. but still, the experience was worth it. instead of making me feel small and discouraged about my own ability in dance, i looked on the bright side to realize how blessed I was to be able to be in singapore getting holistic education yet still able to dance my heart out. genee was beyond amazing, it gives me aspirations to work harder on *cough* pirouettes and other ballet techniques because even the small kids were very strong on their technical aspect.

i could not post any dance videos due to copyright issues but here are some decent pictures from the trip! (and yes my hair was strawberry-coloured)

sydney opera house was super windy i love the weather there BRING ME BACK

2 more years to legal age!!!

I HOLA AMIGOSSSSSSSS

it feels like years have passed since i last updated this blog. mind you, im still alive and well :p

as you can infer from the title, i turned 16 a few weeks ago. many things have happened throughout my entire existence, both happy and sweet memories. i sincerely feel tremendously blessed to have found a warm, new family here in Singapore. Although my parents and I are not the closest one ever ( yeah we are far from that HAHA ), but i surprisingly did not feel that lonely and sentimental on my birthday. people say that when you are away from home, your heart will unconciously long for that feeling of being physically 'home'. that statement is true to a certain extent; i do miss home sometimes(are you shocked yet), but i have finally learnt the real answer to finding a home away from home. 

this might sound foreign or even illogical to some of you readers, but trust me, atthis age  of 16, it is not impossible to be able to settle in and feel utterly accepted by the new society, even with the fact that you are living in a completely new place , sureounded with people you have no idea of. it is very possible. so for those who are unsure if they should stidy abroad during their teenage years, please follow what your little heart says and accept the challenge of being independent and mature. ok so the only reason why i sound like some overseas student body who advocates studying abroad, i got into that feelings simply because i am now a grand senior!!! yeah scgs has selected the new batch of indonesian scholars. i still cant get over the fact that o levels is happening this year( i have both ss and bio paper 2 on the same day; TRAGIC)

more on the celebratory mood, i cant thank all my friends enough for all that they have done for me. REALLY GUYS, I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU<3

i know that i need not say out loud to the whole big world who you are since you guys must know deep within that im grateful for whatever you have done for my birthday(+my life in general)!! thisbsoinds very cheesy but WHO CARES this is my blog anyway :P

all these stories are invalid if i do not show evidence so here ya go thirsty (thisbis a positive metaphor HERE) people: 

depicts our real relationship; note that im normally the biggest bully out of them all

(L to R, back to front : Friscilia, Michelle, Vanessa, Winy, Jessica, Melissa, Maretta, Adeline)

a normal picture to save our reputation

had an amazing dinner with my family(ish)

L to R : Ko Cei, Cc Uling, Maretta, Ko Alvin 

the annoying balloon is still staring at me after almost a week my gosh *moon face

L to R : Yinn, Aarthi, Maretta, Sasha

this is a super late cny greetings to y'all but i was home for cny this year!!! ( dont ask me how did i get the permission to do so :p)

the fact that im slanted to one side ( how is that even possible) + the cheongsam was too big for me cant stop me from posting this intricately sewn cheongsam!! stole this from mama anyway (sorz mam love ya HAHA)

there are certainly more pictures but  my laziness to import the pictures and rendering them to better qualities + editing the lights and contrast beats the will to share all these happy moments HEHEHE

anyways, i have REALLLYYYY REALLYY GOOD NEWS(to me hihi): this is tentative but still!! im excited as hell 

i might go and watch Genee in Sydney this December!! omg i cannot wait i CANT WAIT NO MORE om this means that im another day closer to my grade 8 exam!!! God, please help me to be calm and present the best smile ever complimented with the best techniques i have!!! im so bored with grade 8's syllable but im still scared for the exam nooooo

anyway, i need to bear ms Tan's nagging for the whole week but watching my childhood dream is one amazing fact that can boost my spirit whenever im feeling down!!

waaaait im not gg to end this post just yet

LEMME TELL YOU GUYS 

in case youbare wondering why am i super weird writing about all these craps 

it is most probably bcs im a secondary 4student now. the reality of being a sec4 has not really sunk in until about March (i guess?) therefore whenever i have free time to blog, i do so by putting all my heart in it. this results in super lengthy blog post with irrelevant and incoherent content inside so mind you free souls with much more things to do, you know what to expect the next time i post something HAHAHAHA 

tbh, i have mixed feelings about this blog. as i get okder, ibstarted thinking about having a more private life where no outsiders really know what is gg on with my life. i mean, im not one of those kardashians who make money by revealing about their full-of-fights lives which are certainly hilarious ( all hail kimmy k), instead im just another girl living abroad with many new stories to tell others. but as i pondered about stop blogging, the more i cannot hold back that side of me that simply urges me to always share my rants to others. if you know me personally, you would have realized that im a very vocal person, yet i always carry the role of an advisor and listener. it is never a balanced relationship you are going to have if you are friends with me. i rarely talk about my own feelings or if im feeling troubled and that i need help. the reason to thisbis simple: i dont want to spread negativity to the people around me. the world is already filled with judgemental people who are discontented with their own lives that they decided to judge on others' characteristics to find satisfaction in others' misery. i mean, isnt it sad looking at our fellow friends who are oblivious to the fact that personal contentment never comes from others' sufferings? im not being hypocritical here by saying that im always the 'angel' in my circle of friends and that people around me are all judgemental people, but i would like to minimize that ruptured social fabric that we have now. i am an extreme optimist who believes that by working hard and showing passion in everything we do, there is almost nothing that is impossible. so through this deep monologue that i have repetitively at night, i decided to not think too much about the reader of my blog. even if there is no one who read this crappy page of mine, it is completely fine. im happy being able to share my views to the world, im happy that i can find comfort in telling random people i do not know about my boring daily ups and downs. it is just my personal preference of confiding in people i do not know at all. so dont worry(not sure if anyone will), i will never close this page. even if i regret whatever I said in my previous posts, i will let this page be an evident of my bittersweet life which i am sure, is filled with many amazing yet unpredictble experiences.

all in all, i have 2 tests tomorrow and i filed in all that are going to be tested neatly, put them in a special file with different tabs to organize them better, and put it next to my backpack so that i will not forget it. i went to the band room for cca, get out of it after 3 hours, skipped happily back home just to find myself empty handed. THANKS MY FORGETFUL SELF. ( you are welcome) 

it is not the real o levels yet so WHATEVAAAAAAAA

bye friends, i'll be sure to update once i have more free time:))))))

reserved by,

msmarettasimon

broke the bone!!

21st May, 2015--let the countdown begin

heyeyey to every single soul reading this blogpost cause im just so high and HAPPPPPYYYY now i cannot contain this im gonna burst ((ok enough))

after idk how long of vacuum in blogging i FINALLY have the time to sit back, relax and pour out whatever is in my mind, believe me, scgs, is crazy. mad. ok not literally. or probably, singapore is. again, not literally. the things about the school is that the workload is massive. it's like you are always 10m away from a grenade that could just explode anytime it wants, either it is due to the direct exposure to the sunlight or whatever morbid reasons. life here is tough, in terms of its number of homework and oh bloody tests. when you come from a school with only 4 exams and 2 major exams with probably 10 tests in a year to 3-5 tests/week you are probably gonna be blasted by the workload. and mind you, im not playing with the statistics at all.

ok so big question, do i feel stressed?  to be very very honest, not really. i have a super high stress tolerancy, but the environment here is what makes me think a lot. its not that im not this person who overthinks a lot too previously, i am. but coming here has brought that trait to a whole new level. im not creative; im imaginative. I would play scenarios in my head and be this super observant girl who's silently psycho-analyzing ppl yet tis super talkative. this weird combination of characteristics might be the biggest contribution to my stress level, but truly having a sister in singapore whom i can meet every week is one of the biggest blessings i have. so if my sister is reading this, you are my pillar of strength, cie.you are. 

today ir rather yesterday as this is 12.01, i have FINISHED MY LAST TEST OF THE TERM. and it was GEOG. do you get  how EPIC it is!!! i kinda survived the LORMs and now ha who is there to tell me what i want to do afterwards. this feeling of contentment and liberation is something ive never experienced before, as i honestly like tests then. ok now i still have that 'like' towards tests, but its more to a love-hate relationship now.

enough of the emo talk now here is GREAT NEWS. im gonna go to NUS dentistry lab for my P/W WOOOIITSSSSSSSSSSS OMG I CANT 

in case you have no idea who i really am im super passionate abt bio. <at least for now> but this is literally one of the biggest gifts i have ever received. i mean how many ppl actually have the chance to do P/W in sec3 and going to nus dentistry!!! im super excited i cannot wait no longer no more danggggggggg

an important announcement : I GONNA GO BACK HOME ON 10 JUNE *cries of happiness* so i prob gonna be able to take some photoshoot and #ootds so lets cross our fingers!!

plus i am wearing a stud now which means my ear hole which has been left alone and single and sad and in despair for 5+ years is bot closed yet wow good job maretta!!

ok im getting to excited so 

찰자요!!!

schoir concert with megan and michelle performing!! it was SUPERB

(L-R) melissa, yoke, shania, venny, megan, jessica, simon, adeline, winy, friscilia, vanessa 

(bottom) simon, michelle

changes

Hey!

made up my mind to kinda 'change' my blog from 'fashion blog wannabe' to simply just idk a blog?

lifestyle, prolly 

well, does that even matter.

ive been passively writing in this blog, well that is if anyone even notices aha.

I procrastinate a loooot nowadays, a lot that i can stay up late just scrolling instagram when there's actually nothing too exciting.

been trying to change that habit tho.

made myself an agenda and reminders to keep myself posted to the homework i got.

you might not realise - september is coming to an end.

that marks a month left for me before i literally leave medan, and that. freaking. freak. me. out.

somethimes you're a bit worried about the future, thats human nature.

and ive been worrying. idk why either, thoughts keep on bugging me; what to choose for cca, with whom im gonna be sleeping with, little little things basically.

anyways, i made a good progress. recently.

ive been spending months together with my 'new' friends and we're closer to each other. that's a reaaaally good thing :) happy happy

ok its not that its hard for me to make friends, just that they are going to be the ppl who'll be fighting alongside with me. 

been buying sets of stationery 

try to make a proper packing list

hm got no other things to say aha.

lemme tell you something.

this post is boring so just bear with it ok

even i think tis boring

but i just have that vigorous spirit in me wanting to write a blog post HE HE HE

my peers and i have been crazy for food lately. real cray.

every friday we'll be strolling down the street to a nearby plaza(thank God theres a plaza) to have our gastronomic needs fulfilled. good food good companions indeed hahaha.

so heres pictures of our #foodieventure

(its only 2 pics but wtv)

                     me, adeline, melissa

honey i should stop

but i want to keep on typing

help

help

i have an a maths test on monday

trigonometry

i die

A MATHS

bye

and piles of homework for the following week

someone please slap me

but you know what

dad's bringing me to brastagi tomorrow

yeay man

getawayyyyyy

been years since i last visited brastagi

i love meeting the chubby bunniez

with chubby stomachs

and chubby cheeks

i cant resist

OK I GOT BACK TO MY SENSES

FAREWELL THY LOVELY READERS

DONT BE DESPERATE; FOR MY LOVE TO YOU IS ENDLESS

 

*Ok ignore the last lines i never said anything near to that*

bye honey bombs

THAT BLUE-ISH SPIRITS

 overalls : forever21, top : fifty percent, bandage skirt : cotton on, backpack : longchamp, flat : trendy zone

 (L-R)alysha, davennie, maretta, jocelin, jovian, alvie, jordan, arie, billy

Dear readers,

tgif! it's friday and i feel so blessed. 

it's not that i got no hw at all, of course there are still piles stacking, but at least i can relax a bit. 

above are pictures taken few weeks ago, at joce's birthday treat.

well, i do not usually wear skirts, ya know i'm kind of a pumped up kiddo, but that day was very hectic, i didnt even have the time to comb my hair, i run out of time so i just randomly picked this bandage skirt i've kept for long.

after some time, i felt that this was just not me.

and right at that time my lovely thin denim overall i bought years ago popped out. they were just a dynamic duo! 

not so feminime, but you still got the feel. that's what i love! 

actually, i'm planning to wear other kind of shoes, but as i was going to taipan(yes, we had lunch there)with my friend, i had to go to his house first. and we're kinda late, so... that's no doubt that flat was a runner's emergency shoes.

the treat went so so, nothing too specific, then i headed to sun plaza which was located near taipan to have our movie project done. we're going to submit it next friday, so, spoiler might be blogged next monday, so behold! it definitely won't be the best kiddie-made film ever, believe me, my group is very chaotic. very.

anyway, finished shooting, and good thing was, my older sister told me that my old-time fav sea salt caramel mocha's back! pursuaded daddy to go to starbucks and i tried the latte one. it was too sweet, i guess. it tasted very good when it's blended, but not latte.

um, having my ballet competition the day after tomorrow, and ya can guess how frightened my batch-friends and i are. we literally finished learning all of the syllabuses last thursday. ohmy help me. pleaseeee! my eyes are about to shut, gotta go now and, never forget to stay tune!

reserved by,

MSMARETTASIMON