Finding new strengths

Hello peeps!

(I just checked my timeline and I realized the last post was in January lols! I genuinely blame my poor time management skill but to be fair I had 3 IAs due in the same week so at least I'm alive all are good *silently cries)

Since I skipped March altogether due to the unhealthy imbalance between school work and other commitments, I would like to rewind time and talk about the significance of this month. Personally, March is a month filled with hope; hope for progress in extending the appreciation society has for women, hope for growth as an individual, and hope for peace in mind upon pondering on the true meaning of Easter. There were many things that clouded my mind in this hectic period as I was literally running on 4-5h of sleep for weeks for the sake of finishing all the proof-reads and draft edits of my IAs that I was terribly scared of not finishing them well. With that, I have gone astray from the usual 'buffer' time I had for myself where I lowkey 'contemplate' about my day or week HAHAHA yes *surprise surprise* this soul is more sentimental and reflective than what you think. So, here is a post to address critical observations and opinions I feel worthy of sharing. On to the most important one: I am one month late in celebrating International Women's Day which was on 8 March. Lol what's new from a Maretta yet again.

It may be weird for some of you to read this post dedicated to commemorating Women's Day as I may not be the most active advocate for the cause of appreciating works by women of the world and or on gender equality, but I do want to start small. To be honest, I feel that I do not have enough knowledge and understanding of the issues at hand to be an activist; I normally only give critical opinions on happenings in both my community and the mainstream media that touch on gender equality issues. Therefore, I often felt discouraged to voice out my thoughts on the appalling reality that many women are not appreciated yet for their works, or even worse, they themselves do not see the jarring difference communities treat and appreciate their mere existence as a key player in society. But after many rounds of thinking in circles on whether I should do it or not, I just get tired of only passively giving opinions. If I am here observing all the 'injustice' and choose to be ignorant about it, am I not another silent contributor to the reason why society progresses at such a slow pace in commemorating women? I may not be right on all the things I am going to discuss, and I definitely need more knowledge on this issue, but here are some of my observations and efforts to better the situation.

Firstly, I have to admit that I grow up in a moderately 'fair' society where girls are encouraged to pursue their passions and are not treated differently when it comes to education, but this encouragement has not been extended fully to all the other communities. Given this fortunate circumstance I am put in, it is so easy to take the whole celebration of women on this International Women's Day mere Instagram-posts-on-women-frenzy for a day where people's timelines are suddenly flooded with women appreciation without contemplating deeply about each person's story. Posting about it is definitely a great reminder for everyone that it is a day to celebrate women, but what is more important is the unseen women who are undergoing sufferings and women who are not out there making great changes to society simply because their own circumstances pain them from making changes to themselves.

I was blinded by this whole idea of celebrating women's greatest achievements instead of looking into the microscopic, smaller ones that many are doing, often in our own society. But upon looking at the posts of those who have made it big, it struck me that I do not have any story to tell simply because I have not been a part of the revolution people like Maya Angelou have fought so hard for. So does that mean that I am celebrating the works of women who are so impactful to others but not to me because there have not been one that enriched my life? Absolutely not. Then I started looking for smaller, more tangible efforts women around me have done that have impacted me positively, and I was grateful for them. The biggest, most unappreciated impact a woman have made in my life has to be my maid's teachings and caring for me since I was 3 years old. She played mother to me, she taught me my first multiplication table, and she was often the first person who helped me rationalize Mother's arguments every time we quarrel. Therefore, I want to dedicate this post to her, and to others put in worse situations.

I was lucky enough to have a few friends who embarked on a project to help alleviate the sufferings of the often forgotten women in our society, the migrant workers, by conducting singing and dancing lessons followed by sharing sessions weekly in a shelter home for abused female migrant workers. It is a small initiative, but over time, we have grown close to them, getting to know little bits and pieces about their families, their favorite food, and hobbies. Many came from rural areas, many are underaged workers of our age, and many left in desperation for a better job--but all are under the same roof with a common story to share: they are abused by their employers. With this situation, it is certainly hard for them to understand their values and worth, of their importance as key educators and helpers to many families in societies, hence leading them to not only be oblivious to the notion of celebrating women's works but also their own achievements. Looking at their situation, I was saddened by the uneven distribution of women's progress in society even in such a small nation, as there are vast differences between appreciation towards them and others working in professional fields.

-It is blurred and in B&W as it is the shelter's policy to protect the workers-

With the motive of encouraging them to appreciate themselves and celebrating their fighting spirits for embracing their sufferings up to this point, we had a small appreciation session for the women in our society who have inspired us. It was a heartwarming drawing and sharing session, and it truly extracted their strength for many battled their tears when talking about their mothers they missed back home. They came with big hopes of feeding their families and they came to be appreciated for their work in this country with higher salaries, but they all fell into the unfortunate hands of bad employers. Although so, they are all fighting and bettering their lives in their own individual ways, and by being in this shelter they at least have a safe place to stay in while processing their legal battles with their employers. I cannot guarantee that they are now more aware of their strengths as individuals after overcoming these circumstances and sharing to us about what inspired them even in such a difficult situation, but I hoped that the session we had at least worked as a mini-catharsis to them. It was therapeutic to talk about inspirations and celebrating their female figures, and I hope it stays in their minds and hearts that they too should be proud and strong of how far they have come and how far they have battled this scary journey of becoming migrant workers in a land where many may not empathize with them.

It was again, I who was left dumbfounded after realizing yet another bubble I have broke in this small perspective of mind of the world around me. International women's day is indeed a day to celebrate each other, not only those who have made it big and bring major changes. For it is easy to take small achievements for granted and it is harder to evaluate yourself than others, I hope we can all take a step back and reflect on how we have appreciated the works of women in our society. These migrant workers have helped me understand the intangible efforts many fail to recognize simply because they are too minute in our checklists of 'mainstream achievement', but this should never be the metric for them to quantify the contributions they make to themselves and to their loved ones, for everyone, especially women, have fought in some ways or another to get to where they are today, doing what they are doing on their own accord. We have historically been at a disadvantage that not realizing our own potential in this time now alludes to ignorance to our own efforts of being strong individuals with big contributions to make to our own societies.

In short, celebrate the small things, and encourage others to do so too. Happy (belated) International Women's Day to all those brave, inspiring women out there! Keep doing you and never lose faith! :)

p.s I am still working on the project on generation gap as I do not have enough time to churn out results still need more responses (really though!!) so please help to fill the form here!!! i will love u loads for doing it :-) <3

hugs and kisses always,
Maretta Simon

from now onwards

                                                 

(ps excuse my tired look my sleep cycle is completely trashed this year)

Hello, peeps!

3 words to sum up last week will be balloons, level assemblies, and new faces. As you know that my cohort is the most senior students in school, it was compulsory for everyone to help out during our school's Open House last Monday. It was rather eventful with many nice and nasty potential newcomers coming in asking about what IB is, how school works here and a bunch of those standard school tours questions. It was quite mundane at first (besides psycho-analyzing each individual's choice of outfit and weird stares they think I did not notice) but the preparation time for the open house was particularly evocative for me. I never thought that I will be so immersed in a journey to the point where the thought of it ending so early caught me by surprise although I know how long it is going to last for when I signed up for it.

Looking at those new faces sparked a weird balance of sadness and a sense of fulfillment in me, just like that cozy feeling of burrito-balling during a heavy thunderstorm doing one of the many math revision notes. I can say this now because it truly is shocking how exactly a year ago, I was just like them: excited to see where I will go, ready to embark on a journey to adulthood thinking it will all be alright if I follow my plans. To give you a little context, I think long and hard about my future aspirations and was very set on them to the point where I am literally excited for the future when I wake up for school every day. Although so, this year when I am actually going to be on my own making decisions on what I want to do and where I want to go after the structured 12 years of fundamental education really scares me, in a way I definitely have never felt before.

That is also why I chose school assemblies as one of the words that summed up my week. In my school, we have level assemblies where one of those sessions will be about university guidance' aka 'pressure to know and aim where to go next' and honestly, it used to be my nap sessions but now it gives me unnecessary anxiety. (okay this is a lil bit of an exaggeration but just take it as it is ok peeps) The idea of venturing on my own is totally liberating, yet the lack of control creates an invisible apprehension which I am not sure I will be able to combat when the time for it to hit me come. Due to this, my inner lil annoying voice constantly asks my other lil annoying voices in my head: "from now onwards, what are are your plans, bud?" I guess the answer is I do have some ideas of what I want to do, but they are mere abstracts I am unsure how to tie back to the realms of my existential life as a student and an apparent young adult. So for all you souls who are just as bothered by the prospects of doing well in the future as I am, please tell yourself to always take things a step at a time, okay?

Things have been a little out of control lately, but I know one thing for sure: bravery in traveling those roads less walked always has its own edge, so be you in all things you do. Be your true self for honesty, truth and individuality are what I feel make you more human and most importantly, more alive. I hope this reflection on my week has allowed you to take a step back on your week and reflect on the challenges you faced too. From now onwards, it is always your truth that speaks the loudest to your heart and mind, so be still and listen to that voice. :)

ps: I finally formulated my thoughts on generation gap to a few questions in this form!! Please take some time and answer it here (click click)! don't worry, responses are 100% anonymous unless you are willing to spend extra time to be interviewed by me. Thanks a bunch, peeps!

love and hugs always,
Maretta Simon

New Year's Resolutions to (the hypocrite in) me

Hello peeps!!

wow time check: it's 2018!! aka the year I turn legal for all them alcohols *wink (HAHAHAH nah man I still prefer youtube marathons and slow, long meals with people)

I know this is a little bit late, but I have not had a good wrap to my 2017, so I'd like to think aloud and reflect for what I see myself doing this year with you guys. Just saying that I am totally aware of my promised 'project' on generational gap between parents and children, and once I have made up mind on the questions and collection of data and interviews, I will surely share my take on that. :) So let's start these resolutions by firstly, and most importantly, counting my blessings that had done me well last year.

I started my first year of IB (grade 11 equivalent) last year, and man it was a hell of a ride: I had super stressful times dealing with CAS and IA proposals, great waves of laughter from TOK classes, amazing friends I share my burdens with, and plenty of realisations in terms of my academic intelligence which may not be the best. It was indeed a fruitful year, one where I truly see myself grow deep within, and probably those moments will kickstart a steeper exponential growth in character for me this year. If I were to choose one word to help me count my blessings and describe the growth in me, my pick will be "humility". This year I hope to be humbler because 2017 was all about realizing the importance of being humble. I am saying this because there were some major uphills last year, and I failed to see them as positive challenges due to my oblivion to my own limits in solving problems. I thought I was good enough, I thought I was strong enough. All those "I thought" had actually stopped me from truly seeing the importance of a bigger community besides myself who may have a better answer than this mass of nerves in my own nebula. So this year, I hope to see myself let go a little bit more of my ego in order to see things from a humbler perspective so that I too, can help others who have been too comfortable in their solitude for they think that they can handle everything if they are strong enough all this while. So peeps, yes you are strong, but that strength should never be so blinding that you fail to recognize the need to be humble and reach out for help from others.


The other major resolution this year will be to summon the hypocrite in me. Okay, I technically do not need to 'summon' that side of me but rather, keep it in front of my mind instead of having it hovering at the back of my mind. The reason why I said so is that I have been telling myself to do things I know I should such as to be kinder to people, to be more patient, and all those sorts since yeaaaarsss ago but it just seems so hard to actively be conscious and engage in achieving those goals. But hopefully, through bringing the hypocrite in me upfront, I can magnify my awareness on these "small, hidden, but obvious" improvements I need to ignite in myself so that I can truly move forward. It is more of a passive-aggressive approach probably? well, whatever it is, I hope it catalyzes my journey of self-improvement this year. May the hypocrite in me serve me well so that I can constantly challenge myself to recognize, realize, and reflect more actively. 2018 is going to be a tough year, so I need to up my self-awareness game before I drown in seas of excuses from my academic workload that may hinder growth in any way possible.

I guess as of now those 2 are the most important resolutions I'd like to see happening this year :) 2018 is a year where I literally have to embrace early adulthood, finish my basic 12 years of education, and confront myself with seemingly endless decisions regarding where I want to go next in life. What a busy yet exciting one, so I hope I will write a good journal on that and share it with you too!

If you have not made up your mind on resolutions, I hope what I am doing may be relatable and applicable to you. As long as we keep on growing in any way suitable to us, that's a thumbs up!!


Spread the love always,

xx Maretta Simon xx